Not sure if I am going to do the sixth #Cancer treatment called Stem Cell Transplant too much at risk

Going to head off to bed now as I have a long day as later on today there is going to be a meeting based on my sixth #cancer treatment called stem cell transplant and if I wanna go through with it or not, mostly my answer won’t change as I have stated no several times due to the risk and consequences and how it may or may not change the outcome of my disease or my mortality and too make matters more disturbing is that after the stem cell transplant procedure is done most people who have done this treatment are dead in one to three months afterwards and those who have survived are in constant agony and suffering and scarred for life as there is a lot of health and physical side effects that are detrimental and even lethal as my night nurse told me and also I know everybody has to die at some point or another, but I am not delivery risking my mortality or looking to play Russian Roulette with my life and livelihood just for something that may or may not work or changed the outcome as cancer like life is very fickle and unpredictable and out of your control and I am not a masochist meaning not into self or any kind of suffering though throughout all my adversities and strife it might suggest otherwise when it comes down to living my life, but the difference is, is all the hardships or bad cards I was and still somewhat dealt were never my intent or doing at least for most of what I have gone through in my 31 and almost 32 years as a curse on this earth with the gift for words and writing as my only true worth.

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