Original Machete #rap #freestyle by Tic-Tac-Toe my #Eminem @Eminem #Shady like persona

Machete Freestyle Rap

By Tic-Tac-Toe

See I’m not just in it for the payoff

But I’m here to make off and take off

Like my name is Madoff as I love causing chaos

As I’ll never take a day off from scoffing

Because these are thoughts that I conjure up often

And never will stop until the day that I’m placed in my coffin

But until then you don’t wanna go face to face with me

Because I am prepared to take your face off

And that’s not a hockey reference just me being cocky

And if you don’t like that

Than you can take a severance pay and just lay off, okay!

Or you can take cyanide and put a nine to your mind

If I am really driving you into a bunker like Adolf

So don’t act hard, just race off like a NASCAR

And get the fuck out of my face you fucking retard

Before you get your face bashed in by some rebar

As well by a crowbar, so you better go hard

And bust like a nutmeg when you are coming at me

So I have a good reason to trash a fag

And leave you dismembered,

And drag you out to the curb in a trash bag

Because either way I’m a psychopath

That licks the blades off of my chainsaws

While taking a bloodbath wearing a snorkel mask

As well throw in some bath salts just to help me relax

After I’ve hit and run you down like I’m Caitlyn Jenner

And brought a giant spatula just to shovel you off the asphalt

So don’t tell me that I suck, I’m no Dracula, I just lack manners

Unless you are hanging from a belt than I’ll pull a chair out

For ya babe, Oops! It looks like tonight I ain’t getting laid

That’s alright I’m not into necrophiliac as they would be right

When they say that chivalry is dead because I’m a misogynist

So Cupid you better fuck off unless you’re stupid

Because all that love shit gets me nauseous

And these sick thoughts of mine already need a vaccine

Because my mind is back to being held hostage

By my twisted thoughts, Ah! Shut up slut and don’t fight

Just take my not so Little Italy but fat like Italian sausage

And blow my bagpipe like I’m Scottish

Because I’m far from being modest

Because when this shit is all said and done,

I’m dousing you Hun in gasoline and kerosene

Than go and light a match and watch you burn

Because I’m a pyromaniac sexual sadist

That will save this on DVD and go and re-watch it

Again and again while jacking off with a bottle of Vaseline

Than after I’ll go and hang myself in my walk-in-closet

Like my name is David Carradine

So approach me with caution

And don’t have your nose looking down on me

Like you are on some balcony

Because at this rate I’m about to cause felonies

By murdering you like those who are deaf tone

That murder melodies, did you get that analogy?

Because when it comes to kindness that’s my allergy

So you don’t wanna fuck with my pride

Because I’m like a pissed-off lioness

As I’m allergic to anyone who thinks

That I should refer them as my highness

Now back to these rhymes as I think I’ve cleared out my sinus

Of all those fucking assholes that come at me spineless

As I toldcha that your chances are slim as I’m coming atcha fast

Murdering you like you’re calories as I’m here to leave your ass minus

So color me as the finest rapper that you had ever heard

As well I’ve only saw maybe 1 to 4 full seasons of Hot in Cleveland

And there’s only one hot bitch that sticks out and her name is Valerie

Though she’s still a little bit fat

As I think she could eat a little more salary sticks and not dicks

Now I toldcha all that I am off of my rocker

So don’t contest it as I don’t do this to be popular

But to come atcha full throttle like the ghost of Paul Walker

Though I need a crash course in how to act proper

Because right now I don’t need to drink schnapps, rum or lagers

For my thoughts to become vulgar,

Just step up to me and this is already a slaughter

And yeah they say that white man can’t jump and they are right I can’t

I’m still grounded like Donald Trump’s airlines

Though there are some rappers that would like that I would spare rhymes

But this isn’t a hand out and if it was then I am a machete

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